How to resolve your internal conflict
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The two wolves within us
A wise old man, the elder of the village, is holding court. “There are two wolves within me. One good and one evil………..and they are always fighting” he says.
One wolf is filled with anger, regret, hurt, ego, greed, jealousy, arrogance and fear……..and the other is filled with love, hope, joy, empathy, courage, gratitude, truth, confidence and humility.
“…..and you know what?” says the man, “you have the same battle going on inside you, we all have this battle going on inside us”
“So……” one of his young listeners asks, “which wolf wins?”
“The one you feed the most”, replies the old man.
“………you have the same battle going on inside you”
This is a wonderful old story that has been retold many times, in many different forms, and it’s about our own internal conflict. While the detail may differ, there is a valuable lesson for us all.
……….but that’s not how the story ends in my mind!
It’s not difficult to understand that we all have these negative emotions within us, and there are times when they seem to be controlling us. If we “feed” them, we bring them to life and they will be expressed in our negative behaviour. Alternatively, if we “feed” our good wolf we then show up with these positive characteristics.
Interestingly, especially at a young age, external influences can feed the wolves within us as well. Parents, teachers, bosses can all play a part in developing our wolves.
Now, there is an extra twist to the story with a different ending, and one which resonates with me.
“Which wolf wins?” asks the young listener.
“If you feed them right, they both win” replies the wise old man.
Balance
And here’s the point, even the evil wolf needs feeding. If you only feed the good wolf the evil one will be lurking, forever waiting for the opportunity to exploit a moment of weakness and jump in, thus creating internal conflict.
Even though we consider emotions such as anger, fear and arrogance as negative, it’s important to acknowledge (feed) them when we do feel them. We are human beings and we are hard wired to experience negative emotions……..our job is to ensure we are feeling them when it’s appropriate, there are times when it’s extremely resourceful to feel anger or fear. So, we tune in to what we are feeling, what message we are sending to ourselves, and address it.
Even the evil wolf has attributes that can be useful to us, strength, assertiveness, focus, desire. Sometimes we want to be able to call on these qualities and if we find the balance within us where we can utilise the best of both wolves, we go a long way to resolving our internal conflict.
When we find this balance we function more efficiently and effectively, and like any good team we enjoy the strengths of our different forces…….and more importantly, with this balance we find a valuable peace within ourselves.
Listen to both of the wolves within you!
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