When asking my clients questions, the most common answer is “I don’t know”.
“What do you really want?”……..
“What makes you happy?”……..
There are many questions, but the single most popular answer is “I don’t know”, because most of us don’t really know what it is we are looking for. We realise something is missing, something is not quite right, but we don’t know quite what it is! If you don’t know what it is that you want, or where you want to go then it is by definition, very difficult to get there! It doesn’t matter how good your Sat Nav is, if you don’t have an address to type in it won’t guide you to your destination!
That is why goals, and clearly defined goals, are so important, and I will regularly encourage my clients to set themselves realistic, measureable goals that fit in with their own life. But even when we are setting goals, do we know what we want to achieve? Tangible, meaningful goals give us clear guidelines as to what constitutes success in the context of our goal and allows us the opportunity to measure and plan progress.
Your goal may be to lose 3lbs by a certain date, or increase number of clients to X per month, or buy yourself the car you have always wanted. Those visible or material goals are great, but what will they mean to you? Are they going to increase your self-esteem, make you feel confident, make you feel happy? If that is the case - and it may well be – then how long will that last? The reality is that it when they are provided by external factors like other people, cars or money, it probably won’t last long!
These positive emotions – such as love, confidence, security these are the goals we desire, and they are only possible in the long run when they come from within ourselves. What feelings are you really looking for? Identify with what goes on inside you when you feel these positive emotions, you will have experienced them many times in your life, notice HOW you do them…….and practice them!
If you are thinking “I don’t know” what I want, take the time to remember what feels good to you. We have these resources within us, identify with the feelings, understand how you get there, and keep doing it…….because the more you practice the good feelings, the better you become at them. And that is what we want, to feel good.
The best things in life, are not things, they are good feelings.
Have a great day, and a wonderful weekend.