The pursuit of happiness

  Do you ever have that feeling everyone else is having fun, earning loads of money, having it easy, living the high life?........and you’re just plodding along, working every hour possible, living from hand to mouth, juggling work, kids, chores, never getting a minute to enjoy your life? …….never really feeling happy or content? ......you're not alone!! Here's a few things to think about when feeling like this.

  Happiness can only ever genuinely come from within yourself, it doesn’t matter what anyone else is doing, what anyone else is saying, only you can create happiness for you……..and the good news is that means we can be in control!

  Happiness is a state of mind, a mix of emotions and thoughts we create as a result of external factors (people, environment, incidents) and our response to those factors. The important thing to remember is WE HAVE A CHOICE…….we create the state of mind for ourselves. Given the choice, would you rather create a positive, resourceful (happy) state of mind for yourself, or a negative, unresourceful state?

  I’m going to assume you answered in the positive! So how do we go about creating this happy, positive state of mind within ourselves?

1.       Awareness

If we are “in a bad mood” or having a bad day, the first step is to acknowledge the fact. Even if we are happy in our life, we will have dips, bad experiences, days when we don’t feel 100%.......we all have days when we feel we’ve been hit with the s*it stick. That’s OK, but once we have acknowledged it, we can then choose to change it.

2.       Focus on me – focus on the positive

It’s very easy to get caught up in other people’s worlds. In this age of social media we are being bombarded with images and messages from others letting us know how happy they are, how in love they are, how clever (or cute!) their kids are. On most days you can scroll through Facebook or Instagram and find someone flying First Class on holiday, sitting in the newest trendy restaurant or showing off their new possessions.

It’s easy to become envious of other people when you only see the surface – those same people are not so quick to post pictures of them shouting at their kids to get ready for school, or sat in traffic driving to work. You only see the happiest or best bits that others want to portray.

Avoid focusing on others’ perceived accomplishments or successes, this is equally as important as not focusing on our own blips. We have a tendency to zone in on all the negative moments, however small, and allow them to affect (and ruin!) our day. If we spend more time and energy focused on our goals, our development and improving ourselves, we will be far more aware of our progress, and subsequently enjoy a huge sense of achievement and fulfillment on a daily basis.

3.       Love yourself

           I’m not going to get too “flowery” here! Be honest with yourself! It is important to         identify what you want, what you love……and what makes you happy. Love and appreciate yourself!

          We are all different, you are never going to please everyone all the time and there will always be people that you don’t agree with. Self-worth and confidence comes from accepting this and following your heart……….and knowing that what you are doing is in your best interests, and of your family’s. People will see that and respect that, even if they don’t agree with you.

…….and remember No.2 above!

4.       Be happy with what you have

        This doesn’t mean you can’t strive for more. The desire to improve and better yourself is vital to our progression and development as a human being. However, being aware of what you do have, and grateful for those things are essential to feeling a sense of happiness.

         If you have the mindset of needing “one more thing” to be happy……the pay rise, the new car, the bigger house……then you will always need “one more thing” and you will never be truly happy.

          Be grateful, enjoy and savour what you have, even the difficulties you face. The tough times and low points we experience can serve to reinforce the good times and allow us to enjoy them even more. We can learn from the bad times and see them as obstacles and challenges we face, overcome and ultimately becoming stronger because of.

5.       Live in the present

          We all have a past, and whether they are positive or negative memories, they are in the past. Don’t hold on to the past because whether you perceive them as good or bad, holding on to those memories will only hold us back. We can learn from our experiences, and we can take those lessons forward to enjoy today better, and develop and improve our future.

6.       Create a positive environment

          As much as we can have a positive effect on those around us, we can be influenced by negativity around us too. You may not be “brought down to their level” but if you have people around you who are toxic, it makes your happiness that much harder to achieve. Don’t make your job harder, if you want to be “happy”, lose the toxic people that are influencing your day to day life.

          We attract what we project and vice versa, surround yourself with as much positivity and support as possible. You will create and breed an increasingly healthy and happier world for yourself.

  There’s a much used quote……“the happiest people don’t have the best of everything, they just make the best of everything.

  Take time to focus on yourself, what you think, feel…….what you love. You will only truly feel happy from within, and what others are doing or saying is not relevant. You will be surprised how little you need to make you happy! 

** If you want to speak to me about subjects I have addressed in my blogs or any other issues on your mind, please submit the form on my contacts page or contact me through Facebook, Twitter or LinkedIn.